Dairy of a Personal Trainer: Goodbye Retail

Since the age of sixteen I’d been working in a large retail company. That’s eleven years. As soon as I left school I began the job hunt, within two months I’d landed a job at the company I’d be with for eleven years. By 2018 I was embarrassed, I hated my job and saw no way out. Something had to change.

By time 2017 had wrapped up I was a depressive wreck. My band was breaking up, my family had moved away, I’d ended a train wreck of a relationship, a friend had passed away, I was broke all whilst spending thirty nine hours a week in a job that did literally nothing to fulfill me mentally or even financially. It fucking sucked! It was at this time that I began training again, I don’t remember consciously make the decision to begin exercising but something drew back into the gym. Thank God it did though. By January 2018 I had already dropped some weight and begun the application process to start my personal training diploma. It was from there working in retail really started to become hard work.

As soon as I began working on something that would take me out of the retail game my focus on the job really began to suffer. I mean the job was already mind numbing as it was, but knowing there was light at the end of the tunnel… Damn, that became frustrating. I wanted to leave in an instant! I’d also come to a point where I was thoroughly embarrassed by the job. Well maybe that’s unfair, I was embarrassed with myself. Here I was at twenty seven years old, working on the counters with a silly white mesh hat, taking orders and woefully clock watching all day. I didn’t want to tell people what I did for a living. There’s nothing wrong with that job at all, but god damn I felt like I’d truly let a large chunk of my life slip by. Man, did that fire me up!

It wasn’t until mid July 2018 that I was able to hand in my resignation. I remember the day clearly. I awoke early on a Monday morning, my day off, to find waiting on my email account a job offer to join a large gym as a Personal trainer. Boom! I’d done it! One big massive wave of relief hit me, a sensation that had never been experienced before. Now I could finally move forward with, for the first time in my life, my career! Giving my notice into the supermarket was such a joy, I practically skipped into the store. Although I was sad to be leaving some great people behind I knew this would be the right move to make.

Unfortunately I had four more weeks of retail to endure…

I’ll save that story for the next installment.

Daniel Hipkiss

Dairy of a Personal Trainer: Assessment Time

I don’t get nervous over much. Driving test? No sweat. Exams at school? Piss. Playing guitar in front of an audience? Easy. Funny thing is I only prepared for two of those examples. Getting nervous about events, challenges and occasions is a very rare occurrence for myself. Which is precisely why being of a nervous disposition before taking my practical assessments and was such a…. Mind fuck. 

I’ve played in bands since I was in my early teens, at first it was quite intense but after a few shows… Nothing but eagerness to get onstage. Looking back I even remember the exact moment that my gig anxiety ended. I believe I was fifteen years old when it happened, the band I played in were playing a small local venue to a small handful of people. We’d come onstage and boom! We’d all hit our instruments in unison making for a massive noise of cymbals, amplification feetback, rumbling bass and high pitch squeals. Prior to this I was so nervous, so many scenarios ran through my mind of how badly the gig could go. However in that moment of sheer noise as we began our set letting that open chord rip I took a great inward breath, the next second I just let myself scream all that anxiety out of my system. Ever since then, bar one show eleven years later, I’ve never been nervous getting on a stage. 

In the lead up to my practical assessments I was as cool as a cucumber, not in the slightest bit worried about the upcoming examination. I guess looking back I was playing it too cool because the morning of my tests… I had nervous gas like you wouldn’t believe. Literally overnight I’d turned into a human wind farm! Still trying to play it cool though I’d be doing my absolute best to remain my normal jovial self, inside I was panicking big time. The realisation that passing actually meant I could escape my retail working nightmare had resulted in a pressure I had never experienced before. This meant a lot to me and I now finally grasped how much it really mattered. 

Sat in the foyer area of the gym where the examination would take place my palms began sweat, in strolled my examiner with a cool relaxed demeanor instantly my anxiety levels went down a notch. At that point my only concern was making sure I didn’t greet him with a sweaty handshake! Fortunately my friend acted as my client for the examination, once again this offset the pressure I’d mounted on myself. Soon after introducing myself to the examiner I was called to start the assessment, taking a deep breath I rose from my seat and approached the door. 

Honest to God I barely remember the examination, it’s just a blur of noise and images after the first couple of minutes. What I do remember is starting off. As I came into the room with my client the examiner took a seat in a corner behind us, like a hawk he watched every move I made along with listening intently to each word I spoke. His eyes like daggers in my back. Only once satisfied he’d seen enough of that particular section would be pipe up in a monotonous voice “move on”. This would be either a very good sign or a particularly bad one. From there on in the assessment flew by, seemingly on it’s own momentum and soon enough it was over. I was led back into the foyer to sit down and await the outcome. 

After what seemed like an eternity I was eventually called to take a seat with my examiner. Inside I was playing emotional tennis with myself, debating what went well along with what didn’t, finally he acknowledged me and went to give his verdict.

In a long drawn out way, like you would see on a reality tv show my fate was revealed to me… I’d passed! Waves of relief instantly hit me, he carried on speaking but after hearing my desired result I was mentally gone. On the sly I turned to my friend to give him an enthusiastic thumbs up, hopefully my examiner didn’t notice. 

A celebratory pint was in order! 

Daniel Hipkiss